Hello everyone, a slightly different blog post today, it’s a bit of an experiment. I thought I’d share a poem with you that I wrote about my thoughts and feelings whilst in the darkest moments of depression a few years back. I’m a little nervous about sharing it with you but as my goal is to become an author I’ll have to get used to sharing my work with people at some point. Also heads up, I mainly write in prose and mostly fiction, I don’t write poetry often so don’t expect an incredible poem to the standard of Blake or Wordsworth!
I’m Not Ready – Jade Anna
I want to forget.
I want to forget about past memories, about misfortunes. I want to forget about the mistakes that shaped me into who I am; I don’t like her.
I’m not strong.
I’m not strong enough for this never ending nightmare, this experience. I’m not strong enough to wear this fake smile for the whole world to see, this forced smile doesn’t fool me.
I need to stop.
I need to stop worrying about the unknown, about the future. I need to stop worrying about what ifs and maybes, about would haves, should haves and could haves.
I want to escape.
I want to escape this world, this cruel world. I want to escape my thoughts and my feelings, step away from my overworking brain.
I’m not ready.
I’m not ready for new beginnings, for endings. I’m not ready to fail, to try again, to fail. It’s exhausting.
But it’s so much more than that.
I’m not ready to grow up.
Thanks for reading!
Jade Anna x